News, links, analysis and comments on Melbourne's Underworld

Monday, November 21, 2005

Old farts to catch young bucks

From the "it's so stupid it must be true" file comes this classic:

RETIRED homicide detectives may be recalled to review unsolved murder cases under a plan being considered by police.

The investigators would be contracted to re-examine files to identify cases that they believe can now be solved.

"They have so much expertise it would be of great benefit if we can tap into it," Assistant Commissioner (Crime) Simon Overland said.

Of course this assumption that "they have so much expertise" is based on the assumption that they can remember anything- including their own names.
The retired police could also be used as consultants to check on the progress of investigations. "A fresh set of eyes can often see obvious things that have been missed," Mr Overland said.

"Fresh eyes". Must be a typo.

This has the making of a TV series- no doubt:

"Colostomy Squad"

This week, Colostomy Squad seek out the phantom granny flasher by going door to door in the neighborhood. After two houses they retire to the pub to talk about how shit hot they were way back when. Rated BABS (Boring As BatShit)


  1. pig hunter7:45 pm

    You'd think the retired pigs would have better things to do .

    but then again, they're all f*cking wannabees heroes.

  2. Anonymous6:40 pm

    They use this system in the US and if it's being considered here then they probably have some success with it

    What this needs is a comeback by Lieutenant Columbo "agghh just one more ting. ermm sorry to bodder ya again" etc etc

  3. internet gangster6:40 pm


    how bout chief wiggum "See ya in court, Simpson. Oh, and bring that evidence with ya, otherwise, I got no case and you'll go scot-free."


Don't screw this up.